Unassisted Childbirth

I woke up this morning with a deep connection to my emotions, which is typical for me, however, I came to a new level of awareness on what I really want.

This past sunday I went with my mom and husband to a birthing center, that decision was made so my mother could have the opportunity to expand her awareness, ask her questions and release some of her fears. I made a statement to the midwife that if I had it truly my way I would not have anyone in attendance at my birth (except my husband), my body knows what it is doing, and I trust myself. As I said these words I felt emotions coming on, my eyes started to water, because I spoke my truth, I was authentic to myself, and felt WHOLE.

During my visit a few days prior with another midwife I felt like a power struggle was happening. Over the phone this midwife was great to talk to. She agreed with what I was saying, and we both enjoyed the conversation. In person it was very different. Most of the time she talked about different tests that she is required to give me, and that I have the option to sign a waiver, etc... When I began to speak she would hear a few words and then start speaking about the subject, I felt like I wasn't being heard, I didn't have questions, I just wanted to see how in alignment we really were. If you have seen the Celestine Prophecy movie (if not I highly recommend it) It was like the moment when the man - John, met the woman, who he had seen in his dreams, he unconsciously was trying to take her energy, this is what people do in our society, I see it as a call for love, yet at the moment when it's happening it can be a challange to see through.

In these last few months/years, I have awakened to many truths, and continue down this path in love and light, knowing that all of the illusions of fear and power are just illusions, and that I can create what I want. I also know that everything in my life is perfect, it is all set up so that I can further awaken to truth.

So here is my truth. Birth is a normal part of life, and all of life is to be cherished and celebrated. When someone asks me what i did today, I say I celebrated my day doing/being... I did not need anyone coaching me through being vegan, or conceiving a child, my inner guidance has brought me to the true joy and freedom that we all have. So why should pregnancy and birth be any different.

My husband agrees, he held the space for me today to cry and release, all the hurt and pain I had from generations of unconscious doing. I feel compassion for those who believe that they are victims, and that they need someone else to tell them what is right. Your only truth is your own. We are all very different and all need to find what is right for each of us, in all aspects, love, food, education, etc... This is what soul-full or conscious living is about. We have freedom, we have choice, even if we are not yet aware, we always have it.

I began to have the discussion with a family member, about the fact that women have been giving birth and going through pregnancy unassisted for millions of years. My intention was to open her up to any decision I would make, be it having a midwife or not, I create ease and joy in the experience. It was a prefect opportunity for me to see where I have attachements to her, and her approval. Interesting huh. I forgive myself for believing that I am responsible for her happiness and that she effects mine. Allthough she expressed conflict, fear and some other emotions, I remained calm, and continued to express as myslef, while giving her love and compassion. What i see out of this, is that the old pattern, of fighting, is gone, and I can be with a situation authentically and in peace.

I have been ready through some really great resources on the web about lotus & unassited childbirth. Should I decide to have a midwife, or anyone else at the birth, it is my choice, and I know it will all be perfect.

http://www.unassistedchildbirth.com
http://www.purebirth-australia.com/
http://www.lotusbirth.com/

A wonderful book Primal Mothering in a Modern World: by Hygeia Halfmoon

UPDATE: My family member was much easier to talk with later in the day, in all fairness she was tired, and had a long few days - holidays. So I told her, the situation will be perfect and comfortable for everyone, and she said, I know, you know what your doing... Ahhhh